Tuesday, August 30, 2011

No more martyrs

I came across this concept of no more martyr in the book Sink Reflections (yes I'm reading another one and yes I do have a problem) and it stopped me in my tracks. At first I was irritated and though well maybe other people are martyr but not me. Then I looked at her little list of questions:
  • Do you complain that you are the only person that ever does anything around the house?
  • Do you throw in the towel when you clean something up and then two hours later it is messed up again? Do you say "Why do I even bother?"
  • Do you pout when you can't get your children or your husband to do their fair share?
  • Do you know what their fair share really is?
  • Do you only clean when you are mad?
  • Do you hear harsh words coming from your mouth when delegating jobs?
  • Do you find things to do outside the home that give you an excuse for not taking care of the house?
  • If you cook, do you refuse to clean up afterward because you did your part?
I can't say they all fit me but I can confess to enough of them that it causes more than a little bit of embarrassment. It made me think about the example I am setting for my children. I am teaching my children that work is something you dread, it makes you angry, and can never be done to her satisfaction. It makes you frustrated and can never be any fun. You need to give up your other activities to do it and it's best if you just leave mom alone while she just does it for you. This is not the example I want to show my kids. I want them to learn that work can be fun and rewarding and it makes you feel good. I want them to be productive individuals and I don't want them to hate work. Really it comes down to this, there is no room for negative thinking in a positive example.

In sink reflections she refers to cleaning your home as a blessing to your home and family. I don't think I had ever given this any thought. A blessing is defined as the act of one that blesses. Put like that I'm pretty sure she is right. Think of how much better you feel as a family in a clean home. How much more peaceful your house feels. Much to my dismay as soon as I clean a room that is the room my children want to play in and be in. There is a reason for this. So every time you go to bed with a clean counter, or scrub a toilet just remember you are bestowing blessings on those you love.

1 comment:

  1. I find that when I complain, I set the tone and tend to have a few kids follow my example and complain every time they are asked to do something. As I tell them to stop complaining, I realize they are just following my example! So, I have had to really change the way I do things and just "get it done", no matter if I have worked all day or whatever. Also, it invites the spirit of criticism into the home when someone starts complaining about work. So, we are learning to just "pitch in" and get it done so we can do something else that we actually want to do. It really makes a difference, we are all happier, and we have the spirit of cooperation. A good attitude DOES make a difference :)

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