The value of a few flowers

Next time your at the store and the kids are being crazy go ahead and buy your self some flowers. I usually get daisy's since they are my favorite and a bunch is under $10. My kids will settle down and ask "can I pick them out this time mom?" My answer is usually yes as long as I can have a say to. Sometimes I give them a price limit, Ethan tends to want to buy the $30 bunches and I'm really a daisy girl at heart. My husband isn't so good at buying me flowers so I simply tell him when I next see him that he got me flowers. He laughs and say "Oh did I pick the right ones?" It's been a great thing for our relationship because I don't get upset that he never buys me flowers and I get to enjoy the flowers.

So let me tell you why you should spend $10 a week on some flowers. It will help clean your kitchen. No they don't come with little cleaning sprites who will magically clean your counters and scrub your stove but they will motivate you. Flowers make a place more beautiful, and more cheerful. It's hard to have a messy kitchen in their presence. You will find that if you place the flowers on your kitchen table you have a reason to clean your table...you don't want your messy table to get in the way of their beauty. Soon you will notice that your kitchen is just a little bit cleaner and every time you look at your table instead of frown at the clutter you smile. So next week go ahead and try it buy your self some flowers.

If flowers are out of the question for your family do to allergies or maybe you just don't like them buy a nice center piece for your table that will make you smile when you see it...hey maybe you even have something tucked away in a cupboard. :)

No more martyrs

I came across this concept of no more martyr in the book Sink Reflections (yes I'm reading another one and yes I do have a problem) and it stopped me in my tracks. At first I was irritated and though well maybe other people are martyr but not me. Then I looked at her little list of questions:

• Do you complain that you are the only person that ever does anything around the house?
• Do you throw in the towel when you clean something up and then two hours later it is messed up again? Do you say "Why do I even bother?"
• Do you pout when you can't get your children or your husband to do their fair share?
• Do you know what their fair share really is?
• Do you only clean when you are mad?
• Do you hear harsh words coming from your mouth when delegating jobs?
• Do you find things to do outside the home that give you an excuse for not taking care of the house?
• If you cook, do you refuse to clean up afterward because you did your part?

I can't say they all fit me but I can confess to enough of them that it causes more than a little bit of embarrassment. It made me think about the example I am setting for my children. I am teaching my children that work is something you dread, it makes you angry, and can never be done to her satisfaction. It makes you frustrated and can never be any fun. You need to give up your other activities to do it and it's best if you just leave mom alone while she just does it for you. This is not the example I want to show my kids. I want them to learn that work can be fun and rewarding and it makes you feel good. I want them to be productive individuals and I don't want them to hate work. Really it comes down to this, there is no room for negative thinking in a positive example.

In sink reflections she refers to cleaning your home as a blessing to your home and family. I don't think I had ever given this any thought. A blessing is defined as the act of one that blesses. Put like that I'm pretty sure she is right. Think of how much better you feel as a family in a clean home. How much more peaceful your house feels. Much to my dismay as soon as I clean a room that is the room my children want to play in and be in. There is a reason for this. So every time you go to bed with a clean counter, or scrub a toilet just remember you are bestowing blessings on those you love.

Organization your Schedules

On to the new portion of this week organizing our schedules. The biggest problem I have with getting organized is it takes time, time I never feel like I have. So here is the plan we make time, we make a schedule and we stick to it. My original idea was to do this with sticky notes on a wall in the house...but the sticky notes kept falling off the wall before I could finish. So here is my thought you can do this using sticky notes or paper or even 4x5 note cards whatever works for you...you can even use excel for that matter. Make columns for each day the week. Now under each column put things like garbage day (I need to put that on there so I don't forget it) time your kids leave for school and need to be picked up. Next put all your church obligations wednesday night activities, meeting, prep time for you class, church on Sunday etc. Now put on all your family obligations, piano lessons gymnastics, soccer etc. Now how about listing all those other things we do in the week when we can fit it in like grocery shopping, and trips to the library. This should give you a good idea of your week right now. I need to see all these things visually and maybe you don't so if so skip that part. I put each item on a different sticky note so I could really see all the things I need to do.

This is front the S.H.E. book so I will give you there suggestions. Pick one day a week to be your free day, when you can do anything you want: have lunch with friends, read a novel, take a long country walk, learn karate...you get the picture hard for us with a toddler but still a down day from all the other insanity. The idea is to keep the day free from housework, elaborate cooking, and errands. It's to be your weekly reward for being so well organized that you can afford to take the day off without seeing the house fall apart (well we shall see about that) Next pick a day for moderate cleaning 2-4 hours spent on housework. A quiet day when you will do things like pay bills, balance the checkbook, clip grocery coupon (well it's a nice thought), write letters, and tie up loose ends. A grocery shopping day; a heavy cleaning day (4-6 hours of house work), a family day and Sunday which is free of cleaning.

Here is a sample basic week plan from the book
Monday-Free Day
Tuesday-Moderate Cleaning
Wednesday-Shop ads, Clip Coupons
Thursday-Grocery Shop, Errands
Friday-Heavy Cleaning
Saturday-Children, Family
Sunday-Church, FAmily, Free of Cleaning

The point in having a schedule is so we stop over booking our selves and stop trying to do everything. We are human and can not as I learned one day this week have three separate playdates at different times at my house, clean up from each playdate, makes meals for everyone, try to organize our basement, do some running for Jared oh and don't loose my mind or feel completely out of sorts because I didn't get anything done. On my schedule I'm putting a day for play dates...I can only do them once a week and if we can't do them this week then lets go for the following week. I also need to have time for my photography business which will probably be my quite day. Now the other thing I want to put out is that at least for me doing no house work isn't really an option I have a toddler hello. But I can take a day where I only pick up the necessity leaving time for me to do other things. I've learned in my house if I can pick up a room every day it doesn't take very long...it's just picking it up every day that seems to be the issue.

Now that you have a basic plan of attack for the week there is one little area you need to concur. So put on your drill sergeant hat for a minute it's time to talk about dinner. Every day around 4 I panic because I need to have dinner on the table in an hour but no one is going to like it or eat it so what's the point. My husband is not going to be at the dinner table with us and Megan is going to climb all over me to the point where eating should qualify for an Olympic sport. I will no sooner sit down to eat than someone will need something else and by the time I can sit down at last everyone else has eaten and long since left the table. So I get to sit there among the tipped over glass of milk and the food Megan flung at someone else and try to enjoy my dinner while the kids argue about something or other...yup I'm not sure why I dread dinner each night but I do. So here is your call to action we are going to make a meal plan. (Yes sir) We are going to make it the best darn plan ever (yes sir) and it's going to work (yes sir) Are you ready for this? YES SIR!

The menu plan should compliment your weekly plan. On days where you don't have lots of time it's simple and easy meals, on your free day left over and paper plates, and one big family feast a week on Sunday...here is the sample plan from the book this goes with there weekly plan

Monday-Leftovers/paper plate night
Tuesday-Chicken
Wednesday-Fish...ok that one will never fly in my house:)
Thursday-Casserole/crock pot
Friday-hamburgers/tacos/Spaghetti
Saturday-Cook's Choice
Sunday-Feast/Roast/Ham

You know what your family likes to eat and what they don't my family doesn't do casseroles or fish but there are lots of over things I can sub in I'm sure.....I'll let you know when I figure that one out. I'm considering starting a recipe box separated by the days of the week with the recipe on the front and the grocery list on the back so I could just pull one out the cards to make my grocery list and meal plan for the week...the problem is it will take time....or I might be able to use a computer program I have for this I'll let you know how it goes. My thought is if I enter in whatever recipes I use for the week one week at a time before I know it I'll have all the ones we need. But we shall see.

Well Ladies that is all I have for this week. I wish you luck and happy organization. If you have any questions on the any of this feel free to call me and we will talk about it.

Jess report in on week 2

All right here is my report in for my last week. I feel a bit off the organization wagon. I got overwellmeded and stop making my list each morning, scripture reading went out the window next and lets just say sleep and I are not talking so well. When I get stressed out things slide. The good news is it's a new week and I saw the difference doing these very small things did for our home. So part of this weeks plan is to simply keep doing the things from last week. The one thing I have the hardest time with is keeping a journal I always feel like it has to be perfect I want to rewrite it 5 times etc it's the writer in me what can I say. To get over this and my tendency to be a tad long winded...really do I need to put every little detail of the day down honestly? shesh. So I went out a a got a planner...one of those note book types that give you a day of lines per half page. I found one that doesn't have the year in it just the dates so I could start midyear and use it all year long if I want. So now I'm limited to the amount of space so I can't say everything and I can just list a few things I'm grateful for in that space if I'm having a hard time and not feel bad. I don't know why but it has taken some of the pressure off. At the bottom of the one I got it says plan, write, remember and I really like that. So if you are having issues writing in a journal give it a try and see if it works for you.

The cost of disorganization

I thought as my motivational thing this week I would take a look at what being disorganized is costing us. I found this in one of the books I got so I thought I would share

-Clutter causes you to feel overwhelmed or depressed-check
-Clutter robs you of your energy-check
-Clutter steals 50 percent of your storage space-hmm I think that number is a little low for our home
-Clutter makes life harder. You have to look longer, travel father and dig deeper to find what you are looking for.-check check check
-Clutter takes longer to clean-check oh wait you mean your suppose to get around to cleaning not just picking up?
-Clutter cost you money. IF you can't find what you need, you will have to buy a replacement. Or, you may be apying to store your clutter....Ok maybe this is why I have 6 pairs of scissors and can never find a pair when I want them so I end up buying yet another pair.
-Clutter makes it hard to think strait- this one I never gave any consideration to but I fully believe it's true. When your mind is cluttered up with trying to get though you don't have time to really think or do what you want to do.
-Clutter may affect how you feel about yourself. You may be self-conscious or feel guilty about your clutter. I've noticed that the worse I feel the worse my house looks....though for me I'm not sure which came first the chicken or the egg...the clutter or the bad feelings but either way getting rid of one helps the other.
-Clutter can affect your relationships. For example if you feel ashamed of your cluttered house, you may be less likely to invite friends and family for visits. I also found it causes my stress level to go through the roof when they do visit and I can't truly enjoy them being here if I'm worried they will open x door and be killed by all the stuff I have shoved in there.
-Clutter takes away the peace and beauty from a home.

I'm not listing all these things to depress you but to help you remember this is why we are trying to do this. I have to admit this week has been hard for me. I've just had a lot of extra stress and it's been hard to stay on the organization wagon. Luckily I have a wonderful friend who won't let me fall off who has come over to be my moral support to go through the kids toys and get rid of some. I haven't heard as much from the rest of you so I'm guessing your also feeling a little lower on the energy scale this week. I'm planning to keep things pretty low key until school starts simply because this is all I can take right now but if we need to bump things up let me know.

Organizing You

A copy of the e-mail send out during our second week:

OK Ok I know no blog yet...still waiting on my husband. Anyhow so I'm giving up on him for this week and will just e-mail out the assailment a day late.

Today I want you to make a list of 5 things that you either enjoy or make you feel good about your self. Your list can be longer if you want...I have a hard time here so 5 is my magic number. Now at the end of each day I want you to make sure you do one of these things for you. I know it doesn't seem like an organizing thing but in order to stay motivated and have the inner strength to do this you need to do some things just for you...this is my personal opion nothing backed up in a book just what works for me.

1.) A Bath with music so I can't hear any children
2.) Food I don't have to cook from a nice restraunt
3.) Doing my nails
4.) Reading a book
5.) Taking a walk without children

I was going to have you guys do a schedule organization exercise this week but instead I think I at least need to start a little smaller and simpler. So here are a few things I want you to try and do this week.

-get a min of 7 hours sleep (harder than it sounds)
-Schedule you time each day (time for one of your 5 things)
-Start a journal if you don't have one. It's ok if you don't write in it every day write in when you can. If journal writing is hard for you like it can be for me set a timer for 5 mins and write what is on your mind it doesn't have to be perfect.
-Start each day with a to do list. I do small to do list of only 5 things at a time...when i get all five things done I write another 5. You can also jot down everything you need to get done in one sitting...they say this lets you not have to think about it for the rest of the day. Choose one that works for you.
-Schedule a two minute break two to three times a day to spend time alone and just be
-Start each day by reading your scriptures (silly I know but for some reason I can get more done if I start my day this way)

My Dirty Little Secret

Ok here it is in black and white my dirty little secrete. I am not organized at all. Every aspect of my life suffers from this. I fled my parents house to Jared. I worked full time and tried to squeeze in classes until we started planning our wedding. After the wedding Ethan followed shortly there after. Well you get the picture. Organization takes time to do and I never really took the time to lay down the frame work needed for an organized life.

I wanted to be positive about all this I really did. So all week I've been trying to come up with just one thing that works from an organizational stand point in our lives. You know what I came up with.... cue the crickets. Yup nada, zip, zilch, zero. I'll say it again organization takes time, and between kids and other obligations I somehow forgot that it was important. That life doesn't need to be lived from day to day or moment to moment. That what it really means to live in a disorganized life. I try to be organized I really do but really when it comes down to it I just have a great memory. I know when things are for the most part, have only missed an appoint for something once or twice. Somehow shopping is the only thing that doesn't go with this memory thing...give me a page to read and I can usually tell you everything on it...ask me to go shopping even with a list and I'll forget the one item we need for dinner don't ask me why....or maybe it has something to do with my total hatred for making meals for my family.

So let me give you a brief glimpse into our home and the level of disorganization here. I run from event to event in the school year because there are just a lot of things to do and trying to run a business on top of it is something only a crazy person would do. (yes I'm crazy I'll admit it but I'm a highly driven person and being a stay at home mom completely would cause me to be put away with the white padded walls). Between the running I try to pick up but there is so much extra stuff in our home it's a full time job. I never get above just picking up to do all those deeper cleaning things you need to do. I never have time to play all the board games in the closet because I get so stressed out looking at our living room I want to pull my hair out. My counter always has dirty dishes because I can't seem to clean them fast enough to keep up. I remember to empty the trash in the upstairs bathroom when I open the door and am knocked over from that oh so pleasant diaper aroma. Laundry is never truly caught up, we actually end up buying clothes because we can't find them at times especially socks for some reason. I don't honestly know when cobwebs were taken down or dusting was last done. We have one room in our house that we started to paint over a year ago that still have not had the trimming done so it sits half finished. The garage is so cluttered I hate having the garage open...but can never seem to remember to close it either. My garden hasn't been weeded all year because I've never found the time. Half the time we don't even have the time to mow the yard it feels like but we try. Even my car is not untouched. My car is so cluttered and nasty that I ask my kids to hurry up when getting in or out because I don't want anyone to see inside....lets not think about anyone who parks next to us and can see in the windows. We eat out sometimes every day because I can't bring my self to make a meal or I haven't had the energy to make it to the grocery store to buy anything.

I don't tell you all this because I want you to feel bad for me this is honestly where my house is at right now. It is going to change because I can't continue living this way, no one can. I have hit rock bottom and it's time to start making my way out. It's important to see where I'm starting to taking an honest look around and record it so that as I make progress I can look back at these words and see I have made a difference. My montra right now is not perfect but better...and if every day is not perfect but better than the last then one day at a time things have no choice but to get better.

So what is my end goal? I can sum it up in two words: home and family. I want my home to be a place that my family is proud of, especially me. I want it to be a sanctuary from the rest of the world for my children, ok and me too. I want to be able to pick up my house in an hour not 8. I want to have time to clean not just pick up. I want to be clutter free. I want to have time in my schedule to just be. I want to not be overwelled by dinner. I want to be the mom I know I can be if only I can locate the time to find her among all the disorganization. I want to share the load of house work and cooking with my family. It will teach them how to take care of them selves and lessen my load. This one will be really hard for me but it will be needed.

They say roam wasn't build in a day, neither was it done by just one person. This is my reminder to my self that it will take time to get there and I can't do it all on my own.

Goals

The following is the text of the first e-mail I sent out prior to starting this blog:

I have decided now is the time to get the ball rolling toward a more organized life. So here is my present goal I'm going to try to send out an e-mail once a week of goals for us as well as suggestions and things that I am finding helpful for the coming week. Over the last few months becoming organized has become a bit of an obsession of mine so I'll be drawing on a few different books for the things I'll be passing along the first is Sidetracked Home executives by Pam Young and Peggy Jones (a book on putting a system in place for cleaning your house), second is Shed your stuff change your life by Julie Morgenstern (book on de cluttering your life in every way possible), and last is a planner that is suppose to help you organize your life in a year it's called Organize now a week by week guide to simplify your space and life by Jennifer Ford Berry. That all being said I am no expert and hope you will both share with me things that worked or didn't work for you. I find I better know what to do if I not only say this didn't work for me and this is why...it just helps me think about what will work for me.

Organizing isn't easy, cleaning isn't easy. So at least for me I need an end goal in mind, I need to know that what I'm working toward is worth it and I need a reminder when I get up in the morning and go ugh I don't want to do this today that I need to do this. I hope that makes sense. So this week my goals are centered around that, most of this is coming from the Shed book and I hope it will make sense.

Sit down in a quite space away from all the kids (hard I know that why I'm giving us a week) really think about what is wrong with your house. Think about how you want your house to look or run. What are the things that are working well in your home, the things you don't want to mess with. What are the things that are not working in your home? Visualize the life you want to live and the way you want your home to run. Now realize that getting there is not going to happen tomorrow but that one step at a time we can get closer to that. Now I want you to take a min to write down all that someplace that is important to you, your journal, an e-mail a sticky note on your computer, last page in your planner....what ever works for you but write it down so that you can look at it when you need to see what your working toward.

In the S.H.E. book they suggest making your list of excuses things that are getting in your way of getting your house clean so that may be helpful to you I'm not sure. It was not helpful for me when I tried it a few months ago. I found I needed to focus on the more positive side of things otherwise I started thinking I don't have enough time I'm taking time away from my kids etc. and that really wasn't helpful to me. So instead I've outlined above the rough I'm planning on going instead with is my take on some things from the SHed book and my personality. The point of making the list I think was suppose to show you that the only thing really standing in your way of doing these things is you. You need to make getting organized and for me that included de cluttering and cleaning my house a priority. It's not about having the time it's about making the time for the life you want to have and understanding you can only get there one step at a time.

So at least for me this is more of a life change so I'm taking it as such. I need to not be over welled by my home so I can enjoy my children and my life more fully. De cluttering and cleaning are only short term fixes I need to put in place a system that will help my family get to that point.

These are just my thoughts for today I wanted to start slow because with school starting in a few weeks I don't want to have to much to fast. So your job is to think about this and figure out what works for you to get your overall house hold goals set. Record those goals in some fashion. Report back on how that worked for you by next Friday.